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Let’s Get One Thing Straight. Okay, two things!

March 8, 2013

I have been living with cancer again for almost three weeks and have had a super busy work week filled with stress–read computer troubles. I told my sister last week that this would have been a bad week even without the cancer. I have been a little quiet about the whole thing because I just get really upset when I talk about it, which I hate. But Chris and I are doing okay and we are starting to learn some new lessons. Some of those things include not putting off enjoying today because we are worried about tomorrow, some things just aren’t important, people other than us just don’t find life insurance or second wife jokes nearly as funny as we do.

I have been getting a whole lot of support and we are so grateful for it. Every time I need to vent or cry or laugh, one of you is there to make it happen and I think most of the time you don’t even know the impact that you have had.

There are a couple things that have been repeating themselves the last few days that I really feel strongly about and need to share. There are two specific things that are really in my head this week that I can’t seem to shake and that I really need to get out. I am sharing, having not figured out all the impact of what I think but knowing, as much as I know my own name, these two things:

First, the devil did not do this. I know that Satan goes around seeking whom he may devour, but the fact is, I am not on that list. He doesn’t have jurisdiction where I am concerned. I have been bought with a price. I am not up for dibs. I am not available.

Second, my having cancer is NOT God’s will. I know that may shake your theology a little bit but there it is. Everything that Scripture says about God and about who He is and what He wants for me is contrary to Him “allowing” this to happen to me. Stay with me and remember I don’t have it all figured out, yet. This I know–it is not God’s will that I should die young, that I should leave a husband to raise two children without their mother, that two children should have to grow up without their mother, that my family should have another member taken away, that the world should be further deprived of my wit and charm and intellect. This cancer is the sowing and reaping of thousands of years of a fallen world, of a world in which man has been in charge and been hopelessly imperfect. This is not the consequence of my sin or disobedience or imperfection. This is not God providing me with a learning opportunity or an attempt to teach anyone a lesson. Go back to the Scripture, read what it says. God has plans for good and not evil for me. He has plans for life and not death. But still there is evil and there is death and I can not explain it all. Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble” If you pray for God’s will in this situation, do not do it with the fatalistic approach that we don’t understand the ways of God and His will is just confusing and disheartening. Yes, we may not understand the ways of God, but He gave us a pretty clear picture of what He is and what He is not. I haven’t got all the answers, I only know two things: The devil didn’t do this and this is not God’s will.

I leave you with this–

Please, continue to pray for me, but don’t pray for God’s will in this situation unless you truly believe that God’s will is what the Bible says–that He is come to bring life.

I love you all,

Reek

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Hope permalink
    March 8, 2013 4:44 am

    This is a wonderful testimony to your faith, Mareeka. It fits in with a Bible study I am doing–“Believing God” and I will share it (without names) tomorrow.

    • March 8, 2013 12:27 pm

      Hope, it is totally okay to use my name. I mean, I put everything right out here on the Internet, anyway. Anything you read here is open for sharing. I encourage it.

  2. Kiley (Marsha) permalink
    March 8, 2013 4:55 am

    Mareeka you inspire me with every breath you take and every word you write. I love you, little sister. You are in my heart and in my prayers. Kiley (Marsha)

  3. Tia Banks permalink
    March 8, 2013 1:38 pm

    MAREEKA!!!!!!! I do not, for even one minute think that it is God’s will for you to have cancer! I believe with you that God is only good to us and only wants good for us. He has such love for us. I am also with you that I don’t understand it all, but what I am praying for is healing and I’m calling on His promises of healing. I’m standing here and have drawn a circle around my sick friends (yes, plural) and I am telling God that I’m gonna pray until we get the results that He promised–healing–that’s His will!! Love you much!

  4. Sarah permalink
    March 12, 2013 1:18 am

    Mareeka,
    I totally understand what you are saying here and I agree completely. I will be praying for you. If you don’t already have Jesus Calling by Sarah Young let me know. I would love to bring it to you sometime! I can’t face the day without it! Love you! Sarah S.

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