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Who knows, maybe I can blame this on the new kid, too?

November 8, 2011

Let’s think about all the things we do in our lives that is the easy thing, convenient thing, first available thing and not necessarily the best thing. I am not talking about the high moral ground here, I am talking about regular old, everyday choices.

In the last week I have been confronted with several opportunities to make the best choice, knowing exactly what the best thing is, and not really wanting to do it. Since we are being honest here, we are being honest, aren’t we? I am shooting about fifty/ fifty with my choices. Here are a couple examples:

This whole breastfeeding business makes me crazy! I know it is the right thing to do. Yesterday, I looked at a bunch of literature and poked holes through it to try to give myself an out. I have told Chris a dozen times I am stopping, but it really is the best thing for my little brother bear so I am keeping it up. Reluctant right choice.

Something I am not doing so well with is my food choices. I know when what I put in is clean and healthy, I feel clean and healthy. When I put in things that are greasy and fat, I feel greasy and fat. I was reminded this week of the 18 months that I committed myself to eating clean and whole. Thanks to Michelle, I spent the whole shower today (remember me, the new Mommy whose only alone time is in the shower–sometimes) remembering how healthy, active, happy-faced I was then.

Let me give you a little backstory to that 18 months of lifestyle choice. I spent much of my teenage life suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome. My mother put me through every treatment regimen available mostly alternative therapies because that is what she most believed in. Everything we tried had limited success. I drank carrot juice and took tablespoons of what appeared to be unrefined petroleum with floaties. I had chelation therapy. I slept a lot. I cried a lot. I missed a lot of school. When I was a junior in college, my mom found another treatment– eat organic, whole, mostly raw foods. Your body will eventually heal itself. ” Daddy and I are going to do it, too”, she said. “Just give it a try, if it doesn’t work, you haven’t lost anything” she said. “I will buy you a juicer” she said. She could be very convincing. I spent the next eighteen months eating nothing from a can or a box, nothing white, nothing with a face. It worked. I felt great. I looked great. I stopped having all the symptoms I had pushed through for the last eight years. I ran, I finished school, I took up kick boxing. I wore a size 6 for pity’s sake. It was awesome on so many levels. Then I started working nights as an RN and moved in with one of the best chefs in the world–my sister–and I just started to slip.

So why do I make choices out of convenience? Everything else in my life is very intentional and purposeful. Why does this part of my life get a bye? I am not lazy. I am not undisciplined. What I fear is, what I believe is that I just stopped being intentional and what I knew to be the right choice just wasn’t a conscious decision. So, my responsibility to myself is to become more intentional and follow my own advice of planning and preparing ahead and stop falling into the drive through trap just because I am busy or tired or bored.

Now seems like a perfect time to start that intentionality. I have another 13 weeks at home to build some better habits and get myself prepared for what lies ahead when I start back to work.

Or maybe all of this is just my crazy post pregnancy hormone rages that my husband keeps laughing over.

What can you be more intentional about?

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